I am in the middle of Pilgrim’s Progress right now and I am enjoying it immensely. All the characters are named after their overarching bad habit, trait or virtue (Help, Obstinate, Mistrust, Piety etc. etc.) I got to thinking about this. Wouldn’t the world would be much simpler if everyone had one name that described them completely? Imagine the possibilities:
“How do you do Mr. Peaceandgranola?”
“I’m groovy, thanks for asking Mrs. Busybody! How’s your son, Nobelt Baggypants?”
“Oh he’s doing well enough. I’m afraid he’s gotten into a quarrel with the neighbor, Mr. Callous, though I’m sure I don’t know what Nobelt has done to upset him. And you know how Mr. Callous is! Always so insensitive and cruel! Not to gossip, but I hear he once threw a rock in Mrs. Rapscallion’s window because he was so angry at her.”
“Not cool dude! Sounds like he needs a little love.”
“I believe so! Oh dear me I’ve got to run. Say hello to your wife, Mrs. Braidsandhemp!”
Wonderful isn’t it? Imagine how convenient it would be. I could avoid all the mean and annoying people in the world just by knowing their name! I could surround myself with nice, beautiful people all day long. I wouldn’t have to go through the long and time-consuming process of getting to know them and becoming their friend and all that. Life would be easy.
It wouldn’t be very fun though. I don’t think I would actually have very many friends either. After all, no one is perfect. Everyone has their ups and downs. A more accurate name for the typical person might be Miss Usually-nice-except-in-the-mornings-when-she-hasn’t-had-breakfast-is-also-envious-sometimes-but-very-honest-unfortunately-often-slothful.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t appreciate the occasional help. For example, When I’m (relatively) old it would be very helpful in finding a nice husband. Also, some books would be a lot easier to understand if there were a Mr. Antagonist and a Mr. Cannon Fodder and a Miss Femme Fatale instead of Frank and Bob and Lucy. Since that’s usually not the case, I am greatly enjoying and appreciating Mr. Bunyan’s work.
Trisha
This is fabulous Kelly! How about Mrs. Obstreperous?? Met any of those before?? You crack me up 🙂
Excellent post!! I wonder what my name would be. Mrs. Bites-off-more-than-she-can-chew, I’m sure.
Lynn 🙂
“LOL LOL!” said Mrs. Runningaroundlikeachickenwithitsheadcutoff!
That’s probably one of the reasons I don’t fine allegory particularly insightful: It’s too “on the face” and not complex enough to mirror my own existence or life experience.
But if we were to be named in such a way, my guess is that my name would change more frequently than if I were in a Russian novel lest it become too long to warrant conversation [smile].
~Luke