Charles Murray, co-author of one of our favorite books, The Bell Curve, makes some very cogent observations about the importance of stay at home wives and their great contribution to American society in this article at the American Enterprise Institute website. He very carefully makes the distinction between stay at home wives and stay at home moms, then says this:
The point is that many of the important forms of social capital take more time than a person holding a full-time job can afford. Who has been the primary engine for creating America’s social capital throughout its history, making our civil society one of the sociological wonders of the world? People without full-time jobs. The overwhelming majority of those people have been wives.
This seems precisely right. Murray acknowledges that stay at home wifehood is not for everyone and not even possible in many cases. It is obviously true that stay at home wives are even less understood and appreciated in our society than stay at home moms. It also seems obviously true that they contribute greatly to our society and are made possible by marriage as it has been practiced in America up until about twenty years ago. It is a great article and very timely for Lorena and I now that we are empty nesters. Lorena is trying to figure out what to do next (I need and want to keep working). These are not easy things to figure out.
Betty Blonde #211 – 05/07/2009
Click here or on the image to see full size strip.
I remember when I was young, although, none of my Aunts or even my mother were stay-at-home moms (they couldn’t afford to be) they supported each other by working augmented schedules that allowed all the kids to be at one Aunt’s house after school a week. Having someone available for pick up, childcare, elderly care is great. I know my friend’s family pays their oldest sister a salary to care for their elderly mom. She quit her job to do this for the family and benefited from the experience. I believe many cultures (mine) have a difficult time realizing the ‘stay-at-home’ mom reality. The poor and disadvantage groups tend to need welfare or assistance to have a parent home to care for a child. Whereas in some cultures or circles the man totally expects to take care of his wife and family (provided divorce doesn’t happen). In my case – my husband stayed home for several years while running a business and working part – time every other weekend. It worked for us and we still had 2 incomes. I believe people do what works for them and being creative helps.
Nita,
Thanks for these comments. I love your final sentence in this, that “people do what works for them and being creative helps.” When I was growing up in the late 50’s and early 60’s my mother made more money as a pharmacist than my father who was starting businesses so there had to be a lot of creativity in the way we were raised. I think circumstances dictate different solutions to common problems. It sounds like you guys worked hard to make it all work out and did a great job!