So Dad is reading aloud the social-skills book again, and I have to admit that I’m getting a lot out of it. I’m inclined to think that my people skills are immaculate (far, far from the truth) or that even if they aren’t immaculate my bubbly (self-appointed adjective, people) personality will make up for my social faux pas. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Bubbly often equals overbearing and loud in my case. The book that we are reading has some wonderful suggestions for overcoming this however. One tip that had never occurred was to emulate the other person’s attitude. This makes the other person more comfortable/non-awkward around you.
This is how conversations with my peers usually go:
Margaret: Hi I’m Marge, nice to meet you!
Me:Oooohmywordit’ssogoodtomeetyouI’veheardsomuchaboutyouandIjustknowthatwe’regoingtobesuch
goodfriendsthatwhenwegrowupwe’llbebridesmaidsateachother’sweddingsandourchildrenwillgrowup
togetherisn’tthatjustwonderful?!?!?
Margaret: Ummm… bye.
This is not appopriate. It makes people wonder what kind of meds you’re on. Imagine what would happen if I mirrored her attitude and made a civil response
Margaret: Hi I’m Marge, nice to meet you!
Me: Hi Marge, I’m Kelly! Nice to meet you too.
Margaret: Isn’t it a beautiful day out?
Calm and collected and peaceful, with a conservative amount of exclamation points. The conversation can then continue with some calm and collected and strategic conversational questions. However, if someone greeted me with
Them: HIIIII!!!You’rekellyright?oooohmywordit’ssoooogoodtomeetyou!!
I would heartily respond with:
Me:Oooohmywordit’ssogoodtomeetyoutooI’veheardsomuchaboutyouandIjustknowthatwe’regoingtobe- suchgoodfriendsthatwhenwegrowupwe’llbebridesmaidsateachother’sweddingsandourchildrenwillgrowup-
togetherisn’tthatjustwonderful?!?!?
Isn’t that smart? Emulating other’s attitudes. I struggle with this year in and year out, but my bubbly/manic-meter reaches a high during the August-September convention season. This is because there are more people that I know and love and haven’t seen in a long time in one place than at any other time of the year. Plus there are gobs of opportunities for meeting new people, and since I love people, I get very, very excited. Excited can turn into manic faster than a pat butter melts on top of broccolli. Again, this is not appropriate, especially since a side effect of manic-ness is saying weird things like ‘our children will grow up together’. 😀 Anyway, I KNOW I know I know this is wrong. Convention is supposed to be refreshing and peaceful and about the fellowship. But it’s hard!! So my new year’s resolution is going to be to work on my manic-i-ness so by convention time I can focus on the important things.
I’ve been listening to lots of Christmas carols lately and they have reminded me of some of my all-time favorite emotional songs. Here, a song qualifies as ’emotional’ if it makes you feel inexplicably happy or if it makes you want to cry, jump up and down/run around the house, sing loudly or do all 3 at once. Unfortunately these are not technically sing-along songs so I’ll usually stick with the crying and the jumping up and down. I have other favorites, many of them non-classical, but I think the classical ones are the best.
BTW… Scribefire is being lame and won’t let me put up videos or links so I’m just going to post the URL.
1. Carol of the Bells. For running around the house and jumping up and down.
The Trans-Siberian Orchestra version is not my favorite (although it is very good), and neither is the Mannheim Steamroller version, but I couldn’t find the one that I wanted so I’m just going to put up the TSO one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alIcwofkrS8
2. Pachelbel’s Canon in D. For crying.
The man was a genius. Who doesn’t like this song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZHw9uyj81g
3. Handel’s Messiah. For just being happy + singing.
Handel was also incredibly talented.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnHksDFHTQI
And this one’s not emotional and you’ve probably already seen it, but since I’m a fan of men’s acapella, Christmas carols, and familiar songs gone crazy, I’m going to put it up anyway:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8
Lynn
So funny, Kelly! I wonder if your dad could come over here and read that book aloud to all of us, including, uh, especially, me! I probably need to get that book. I love the carols you mentioned and we’ll check out the links. I loved it when John’s orchestra (well, not HIS orchestra, but the one he was in) would play Pachelbel’s Cannon in D. I always cried.
Lynn
OMGkelly!!!!!thatwastotallyhilariousandremindsmesooooooomuchofmattisse!!!!iknowthatifyoumetinpersonyouwouldREALLY
getalongfamouslyanditwoulddefinitelygosomethinglikethis:
You: Hi, I’m Kelly, nice to meet you.
Mattisse: Oooohmywordit’ssogoodtomeetyoutooI’veheardsomuchaboutyouandIjustknowthatwe’regoingtobe- suchgoodfriendsthatwhenwegrowupwe’llbebridesmaidsateachother’sweddingsandourchildrenwillgrowup-
togetherisn’tthatjustwonderful?!?!?
OMG…oh, my Goodness!
By the way….what is the name of that book?
Kelly, If you like men’s acapella, maybe you’ll like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGxLSeSxH9I&feature=related
I grew up with the lead singer’s (Matt Lusk) mom and dad in Cottage Grove. I think it’s awesome.
Happy Holidays,
Kathy
I thought this was a pretty great post myself. It sounds like Matisse and Kelly are kindred spirits!
I went and looked a the Mark Lusk video. That is pretty amazing. I cannot wait to get Kelly’s opinion!