"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." –John 16:33

Category: Family Page 12 of 18

Kelly’s last Easter birthday

Kelly visits us before her birthday 2016Our daughter, Kelly’s birthday lands on Easter today. She checked it out the last time that happened when she was eleven and this will never happen again in her lifetime. So this is a special birthday. She came to visit us for a week, but had to leave after a small, early celebration. She is in a very good place right now. She has very good friends in Seattle. She struggled early in her PhD program, but just finished her best term ever. The picture with this post shows her sitting at her computer working through some of her research. More important than all that and above all, she considers God and her place in this world relative to his will. We are so thankful God lent her to us even it is just for a little while.

Kelly was a beautiful baby. One of the first things we noticed about her when she was born, after the full head of black hair and the blue eyes, was that she had a little butterfly birthmark on her left forearm. You can see it close to her elbow in the picture. It beats the monster Rorschach test birthmark I have on my back all hollow (even though I am quite fond of my birthmark).

It is fitting that today I used up the last Betty Blonde comic Kelly drew as part of her homeschool education. I think there are a few that I lost, because there are some missing dates and we never missed a date (five times per week) in the five years she drew them. Still, 501 is a good number of comics. She drew them from when she was 14 until she was 16 for an absolutely stellar run. The quality of the comics improved greatly over that time. She really hopes she can get back to that one day–maybe not to draw Betty Blonde, but something new.

Happy Birthday Kelly. We love you.

Betty Blonde #501 – 07/19/2010
Betty Blonde #501
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Last day of work in Oregon

I am scheduled to go out to lunch with my manager and several others today as it is my last day of work at my job here in Oregon. These are always melancholy things. My theory is that work is never as bad as one thinks it is while they are in it, but never really quite as good as they remember it after they leave. The work in this job I am leaving is not nearly as “bleeding edge” as I hoped, but it has been a great place to be to have the chance to spend a year close to Grandpa Milo and Grandma Sarah. I am very grateful for my time here, but look forward to some new and very interesting challenges.

We pack this weekend. We do not have much because we never got out of our fourth floor studio apartment into a house. Everything should fit into a 5×8 U-Haul trailer. Lorena took our Honda CRV to get a trailer hitch so we are all set to go. I pick up the trailer and we plan to pack tomorrow. Kiwi the remaining twin cat sister, Lorena and I should be on the road to Tempe for a visit with Christian early Monday morning.

Betty Blonde #492 – 07/05/2010
Betty Blonde #492
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Help from old friends

Kindness for Grandpa Milo and Grandpa Sarah by old friends provided a great, very much needed boost to our move to Texas yesterday. It is hard to express how grateful we are for these friends who have agreed to take on the far from inconsiderable task of getting Grandpa Milo to church. It is really hard for Grandma Sarah to get out much at all any more. These friends met with Grandpa Milo and Grandma Sarah for Sunday and Wednesday meetings for over twenty years, understand Grandpa Milo in his infirmities better than just about anyone else. This is truly a gift, not only from them, but from God.

Betty Blonde #490 – 06/22/2010
Betty Blonde #490
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Packing days — Grandpa Milo forgets and Grandma Sarah slows down

It was a little bit of a melancholy night last night. Grandpa Milo’s Alzheimer’s progress slowly but surely.

I told him last night, “Dad, you know we are moving to Texas in a couple of weeks.”

He said, “You are? That is disappointing.”

He had completely forgotten from when we told him last Sunday and a week ago Wednesday. Fortunately, he is in very good hands with my siblings all close by and friends from church willing and able to get him to Sunday morning meeting, the Wednesday night Bible studies and the various gospel meetings. Still it is a hard thing. It is getting harder and harder for him to get in and out of the car. He insists on doing everything himself still, but is less able by a great deal than when we got here. It is hard to see because he was truly a great father

Grandma Sarah’s mind is good, but she really finds it difficult to leave home now for anything other than doctor’s appointments. I just feel very, very grateful for parents who had my best interest at heart and, much more than that, have loved and depended on God for so long in their lives, it is now a habit that consoles them and all of us in their old age.

Betty Blonde #487 – 06/17/2010
Betty Blonde #487
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Dallas, Texas

I resigned my job in Portland, Oregon area yesterday to accept a position in Dallas, Texas. The part of the move that has to do with work is great. The part that has to do with leaving Grandpa Milo and Grandma Sarah behind in Oregon makes us sad. They are in good hands with my siblings and with the church with whom they meet so they will be fine. One of the main reasons for the move is to be closer to Grandma Conchita who is alone now, Grandpa Lauro having died over a year ago. We have a good real estate agent looking for a place for us close to the new job, but not so close that we could be characterized as big city dwellers. More about this as it moves forward.

Betty Blonde #485 – 06/15/2010
Betty Blonde #485
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Turned down a chance to move to Dallas

I got a job offer for a job I would love to do in the Dallas, Texas. I say Dallas because we have a Dallas here, too, and I do not want to confuse my Oregon friends. When the kids were younger and we homeschooled them, I would have jumped at a thing like this. Lorena and I did it several times. We moved from Florida to Oregon between when Kelly was born and when Christian was born. We moved from the Portland area to Albany after Kelly’s third grade year and Christian’s first grade year. That move might not seem like too big of a change, but was bigger than I expected both culturally and educationally (for the kids). We moved to Dallas for six months, then to North Carolina for seven years leading up to where we find ourselves now–back in the Portland, Oregon area.

All of that moving was very, very good for the family. The kids understand that no one place stands above other places as the ultimate, end-all places to live. There are exceptions, but people confined to a single place seem to have a tendency to think the place to which they have been confined is the only place that exists. No, though, I find myself, for the first time in my life, turning down a great job that will provide me advancement and very, very interesting work so I can be close enough to help out with aging parents and stay within a short plane ride from one kid and a short train trip to the other. It feels kind of confining, but it also feels good to have done what I believe is the right thing. This, too, will end and we can move again… if we want to.

Betty Blonde #484 – 06/14/2010
Betty Blonde #484
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A remarkable mother-in-law

Grandma Conchita turns 70.
This is a photo of Grandma Conchita after church with her two oldest grandchildren the last time she visited Raleigh before we moved to Oregon. She turns 70 today. It is hard for me to express what an incredible gift it is to have her as a mother-in-law. Both Conchita and Grandpa Lauro treated me as one of their own before Lorena and I considered getting married. I know of no one who knows her who is not grateful that Grandma Conchita is in their life, too. Everything bad you have heard about how mothers-in-law treat their sons-in-law is the exact opposite of how I have ever been treated by Grandma Conchita. Thank you for everything Conchita and Happy, Happy Birthday to a great and kind lady.

Betty Blonde #478 – 06/06/2010
Betty Blonde #478
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Keeping busy helps me stay sane

Lorena back to SeattleLorena is off to Seattle again to give Kelly a hand while she is in the race up to the delivery of an oral presentation of a big paper based on her research. I am stuck here by myself to steam over the election. I am glad I have too much stuff to do to pay much attention to the politics. All the news people who made unequivocal statements about what would happen at the Iowa Caucuses are now making just as unequivocal statements about what will happen at the primaries in New Hampshire and South Carolina. They were completely wrong about Iowa and continue to double down by making a bigger deal out of the third place finisher than the winner who got the greatest amount of votes in Republican history of the event. We will see what happens next, but I am pretty happy I am so busy I cannot pay a whole lot of attention.

Betty Blonde #476 – 06/02/2010
Betty Blonde #476
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Back in the saddle and looking forward to an amazing 2016

I go back to work this morning after my first real week of vacation in several years. I thought I would have more time to reflect, but was amazingly busy even though we were cooped up with four people in our small apartment. Kelly heads home to Washington later this afternoon and Christian heads to Arizona early tomorrow morning. My brother and I have a weight loss plan. We are going to work together and hammer on each other to stay on track. I am going to do a spreadsheet like I have done in the past. Stay tuned…

Betty Blonde #459 – 04/14/2010
Betty Blonde #459
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Our night on the town

New Year's Eve at the Schnitz 2015-2016 (Pink Martini)

Betty Blonde #456 – 04/16/2010
Betty Blonde #456
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Christian home for Christmas

Christian home for Christmas 2015Christian got into Portland at 3:00 AM, Christmas Eve morning. Lorena has enjoyed spoiling him ever since. We had a great day with all the cousins at Aunt Julia’s house. Grandpa Milo and Grandpa Sarah were even there to help out.

Betty Blonde #450 – 04/07/2010
Betty Blonde #450
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Mani-pedi?

This will be a real test of my security in my manliness–Lorena has signed Kelly, Christian, herself and I up for a mani-pedi over the holidays. She and our friend Gladys usually go about every six weeks or so, but Glad will be out of town. I guess they are pretty hard to get that time of year.  If this is not going above and beyond for familial and matrimonial harmony, I do not know what is.

Betty Blonde #441 – 03/25/2010
Betty Blonde #441
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Losing an old friend

We lost our dear friend Carolyn day before yesterday. When Lorena and I first got married, we lived for three years in Boynton Beach, Florida. Every Sunday morning during our time there we meet for a home church meeting at the home of Courtney and Carolyn. Courtney was an engineer, originally from Barbados who worked at one of the big electronics firms in the area. Carolyn was a highly educated stay-at-home mom originally from Virginia. They were very, very kind to us. We often went to their home for dinner and got together with them outside of church on a regular basis along with several other members of our little church group. Carolyn very kindly gave us great advise every time we saw here up to the very last time just last year in North Carolina.  Not too long after we left Florida to head West to Oregon, Courtney was transferred by his company up to North Carolina to the Triangle area where we eventually moved, so we got to see them on a semi-regular basis in these last few years. The most recent best piece of advice, she gave to Kelly.

“Kelly, boyfriends are like buses. If you miss the bus or leave the bus, another one will come along.”

The way Courtney and Carolyn raised their two children, Corwin and Chevonne, was part of our inspiration to encourage our kids to work hard to achieve academic success. They earned a Masters degree and a PhD (a hard one). Our condolences go out to all of them. We will miss Carolyn a lot. She was a godly influence in our lives.

Betty Blonde #438 – 03/22/2010
Betty Blonde #438
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Too much food followed by too much food

Sunday lunch after meeting at Juan Colorado

Our Thanksgiving was super nice. We, as good Americans, ate too much the whole weekend. I, for one, only got one work out in over. As a tilter at Windmills, I have hope to remedy that starting now, but that does not mitigate the fact my belt went out another notch. It was great to have Kelly up her. We missed having Christian a lot, but I think he was well cared for by Ralph and Barbie.

Betty Blonde #434 – 03/17/2010
Betty Blonde #434
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Another great reason to be in Oregon–Gladys

Ken and Gladys at Noodles and Company 2015We count Gladys as the fifth grandparent of Christian and Kelly. We are really thankful to have the chance to live so close to Glad. She has been a fixture in our lives since forever. She and Lorena went down to their Wilsonville manicure salon this morning, then we made our way to the new Noodles and Company here in town for a (late) Birthday lunch. We are especially thankful that she was able to make it all the way out to Raleigh for Thanksgiving and for the kids graduation from NCSU when Grandma Sarah could not travel. Thanks Glad. We love you.

Betty Blonde #428 – 03/08/2010
Betty Blonde #428
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Flying to Tempe for a drive to Asilomar

Christian is scheduled to deliver a conference paper on his research at the Asilomar Conference on Signals, Systems and Computers on Monday. I do not know what is the title of his paper, but it is heavy on Information Theory (see here, here and here) and has to do with radio communication, but applies to everything under the sun, probably especially the whole Internet of Things meme. I took a half day off today so I can fly down to Arizona and drive with Christian up to Pacific Grove, California, the home of the Asilomar Conference grounds. We could have flown, but he is not yet old enough to rent a car to get around and he also wants to stop in LA to visit a buddy from North Carolina State who is there to get a PhD at UCLA in Math.

We are looking forward to the trip, but it is going to be a marathon practice session with me driving and him delivering his paper a gazillion times until he has it down cold. I want to at least an inkling of understanding about his work, but I do not hold out much hope because it is pretty dense. His paper will go into the conference proceedings, but he wants to add some new insights into it and turn it into his first refereed, first-author journal article. I need to remember to take some pictures on the way there.

Betty Blonde #418 – 02/22/2010
Betty Blonde #418
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What to do next, living-wise

Lorena and I struggle a little right now with a decision about where to live. We have thought about heading up to Seattle to be closer to Kelly. We went up there last week to see her. Washington is a beautiful and amazing state. Seattle is a beautiful and amazing city. We love all the water of the Puget Sound. There are lots of good restaurants and stores. There are lots of reasons to move to Seattle, but there is the down-side, too. The politics of Seattle are not quite as crazy and deeply immoral as the politics of Portland, but they are pretty crazy and immoral and they have that nasty little anarchist thing going for them, too. Kind of like Eugene, but bigger. We definitely could live there, but we could live a lot of other places.

We actually took the train from Vancouver to Seattle and then an Uber from the train station to Kelly’s apartment. The whole trip was an absolute joy. We actually think we could live happily anywhere from Vancouver up past Seattle and anywhere on the Sound. The tax situation is profoundly better in Washington than Oregon and so is the economy. Still, we have mixed feelings. We really are Oregonians heart and soul. Well, that and Mexican. Everyone we asked said the Mexican food was horrible throughout Seattle, but I cannot believe that is entirely true although I have to admit it would have been very gracious to call the Mexican food we ate Friday night even mediocre.

We are truly up in the air on all this. We have thought it would be good to have at least a half acre and maybe even an acre or two. But we also think, “Why would we do that?” I ran into this article that talks about saving money in economically hard times. It struck a chord with me. We, personally, are not even close to being on hard times, but the article was compelling–it surely feels like economic hard times could arrive to the whole country very quickly. Add to that the fact that Kelly and Christian will probably not stay where they are much longer than it takes them to finish their degrees–maybe 3-4 years, and we are even more trepidatious about this decision of what to do. We want to be as close as is reasonable to our kids.

We are thinking about it. We have decided to keep looking and expand our thinking to include smaller houses on smaller lots in places where we can walk to grocery stores, schools, restaurants and the like. Lorena has always said she could be happy just about anywhere as long is she is less than fifteen minutes from a Costco and twenty minutes from a Trader Joe’s.

Betty Blonde #417 – 02/19/2010
Betty Blonde #417
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Riding to Seattle on the train

Kelly and Dad UW November 2015
Lorena and I drove up to Vancouver, Washington after work on Friday to catch a train to Seattle. The train ride was wonderful. It was the first time I was able to go up there, but I hope it will not be the last. Kelly was at a party so we took an Uber ride to her apartment from the train station. That was my first Uber ride. I am never going to take another taxi if I can at all avoid it. It was just unbelievably efficient and convenient. I had no sympathy for the taxi systems in the big cities before Uber. I have less sympathy now.

We got up early, walked to a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant by Kelly’s apartment and had an amazing breakfast. There were a ton of great little restaurants all over the place. We promised Kelly and ourselves we would make our way back up there a lot more often to try out more of them. After breakfast, Kelly and I went to the coffee shop where she does a lot of her studying. I worked and she studied while Lorena ran out and did errands. I got nostalgic for our study at the Hill and Hunt libraries back in Raleigh when the kids were at North Carolina State.

Both the kids are going through a lot of pain in their programs right now. When they set out to do something hard with their schooling ten years ago or so, we knew there would be some rough patches and they are both in what can only be described as a grind. Christian just finished his Quals and has to deliver his first conference paper at an Information Theory conference in Asilomar, California next week. Kelly has her first year paper due in January and her Quals in July. She has some very intense Teaching Assistant and Research Assistant duties on top of it all.

This point of their PhD degree work is nothing more than a horrible grind. They barely have time to sleep because it is just one deadline after another and I think it can be a little daunting and discouraging. They will be at the halfway point soon, so there is light at the end of the tunnel. One of the things I have to remind them is that the point of all this work is to give them the skills and credentials to get a good job. That is all. It is not necessary to even stay in the field they studied. When this is done, they have something real they can use to get a good job, but it should not define their life. Too many people get their degree and think it somehow entitles them to unwarranted and unrealistic levels of respect and success. It does not. Life is just getting started when school ends.

Betty Blonde #415 – 02/7/2010
Betty Blonde #415
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Waiting

Lorena and I enjoy our lives as apartment dwellers. We started our marriage in a small one-bedroom apartment in Boynton Beach, Florida and enjoyed that, too. We keep thinking we will move into a house soon, but we are not sure when things will stabilize with Grandpa Milo (Alzheimer’s) and Grandma Sarah. So, we continue to enjoy the ability to walk across the parking lot to Fred Meyer or (more often) across the street to Albertsons. We actually drove very little until this week when the Oregon drizzle finally hit. We are a one car family, so Lorena drove me to work in the morning. I walked a mile and a half each morning to have lunch with her at Wendy’s (cup of chili) or Subway (6″ turkey sandwich), then two miles home at night.

Lorena takes two classes at the community college so she has either homework or class every night. I work on three projects (GaugeCam and two others) beside my day job, so I have too much stuff to do, too. The reality, though, is that we are just working and waiting. Life is waiting, but usually the waiting, in our case, has been a function of our desire to accomplish something and the waiting involved work. Now though, the waiting does not have much to do with us, but the folks. We are getting stuff done, but the length of the stay in our current situation has little to do with anything over which we have much control. And still, it is nice. Since there is nothing really we can do other than be where we are and do what we are doing, we have less about which to worry than in previous circumstances. We plan to enjoy it while it lasts.

Betty Blonde #413 – 02/15/2010
Betty Blonde #413
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23 Years

Lorena and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary on Saturday. The picture below is of Lorena getting a “Mani-Pedi” with our dear friend Gladys on Friday night before the festivities started. It was pretty awesome. Christian came home from Arizona State to help us celebrate. We are headed to the coast for the day today!
Lorena and Gladys mani-pedi before 23rd wedding anniversary

Betty Blonde #410 – 02/10/2010
Betty Blonde #410
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