Even thought Kelly and Christian could not be with us for Thanksgiving, we were thankful they could be with family in California.
Year: 2016 Page 2 of 13
Lorena has been earning points for shopping at the Tom Thumb supermarket near where we live. She used all her points to buy a new turkey cooking pan and rack because our old pan started to rust. She is giving it double duty to cook the flan. It does not get much better than that–flan and a turkey in a free pan! Lots of reasons, big and small to be thankful.
Grandpa Milo called this morning, too. His Thanksgiving with my siblings and all the kids’ cousins will be tomorrow afternoon just because of how all the timing worked out. The reason he called is because he remembered a hymn he thinks might be good for Grandma Sarah’s funeral. We have to look up–we know the hymn really, really well, but do not know the number off the top of our heads. He sang “…we’ll gather round the throne, a victor throng” and a few more lines we could not quite make out. He is obviously very sad, but much better than a week ago. These are more things for which to be thankful–a recently passed Mother/Grandmother in a good place and Grandpa Milo who stays optimistic in the face of a very difficult time.
Christian hitched a ride with his friend Nathan to spend Thanksgiving weekend with the Rizos in San Diego. Kelly flew down last night from Seattle to join the crowd. We tried to figure out a way to be all together this year, but it just did not make sense. We could not be happier about the alternative as the Rizos selflessly made it all work out (again).
Kelly sent out this photo of Christian working on term papers, test preparation and homework. This is probably the last Thanksgiving he will ever have to do this. He has one more semester with a full load of classes followed by a semester with only one class, then he will be all dissertation all the time until he graduates. That is something for which he can certainly be thankful this Thanksgiving.
Lorena and I will spend some time with friends, but sometime during the weekend, we will cook a turkey–the thought of not having turkey sandwiches and other leftovers is more than we can bear.
Kelly sent me a great article on how to raise successful girls. I think it is great and almost surely applies to boys as well. It is titled Want to Raise Successful Daughters? Science Says Nag the Heck Out of Them and was pretty much the operating mode of our family from about when the kids turned two (tongue in cheek, but maybe only slightly). I honestly think there is a good bit of truth to the claims in the article. We had our own little spin on it, but I cannot say that I am not guilty of at least a little bit of this kind of behavior. On the other hand, the über-tiger-mother-from-hades meme is one we rightly loathed so we are not buying this lock, stock and barrel, just maybe lock and stock.
By the way, does the girl in this picture look harassed and put out?
Trisha sent this along and it is just perfect! Kelly and Christian, please take notes.
Over ten years ago (starting in February 2006), I decided I would try to be more consistent in my reading of the Bible. One thing that helps me stay on track with that kind of thing is setting a goal and keeping a record. I set what I thought was a modest goal of just reading one chapter per day until I had read through the entire Bible three times and for each time I read through the whole Bible, I would try to read through the New Testament an additional two times for a total of three times through the Old Testament and nine times through the New Testament.
Today, I finished my third read through the Old Testament which leaves with three reads through the New Testament to complete my goal. I had been faithful both in reading and keeping track for quite awhile, but sometime last year I found myself reading more than one chapter per day. Actually, when I got to the Psalms, I generally read more than one chapter per day the whole time, but the amount of time I spend in the Bible now is surely more than double what I did previously.
The great thing about all this is that my level of enjoyment and benefit in reading has increased over time, too. I know a lot more about the entire flow of the Bible than I did when I started this. I highly recommend setting some goals and keeping a reading record for people with a mindset like my own (I am an engineer at the core of my vocational being). When I hit my goal, Lord willing, I hope to set some new goals, probably starting with a read through a couple additional translations (probably NASB and ESV). Then, I want to find a systematic way to do some topical studies.
The results of this effort are joy, a firmer grasp on a great, overarching plan set into motion by the God who has our best interests at heart even when we ourselves do not.
Update: Our friend David K. made some nice comments about this post and it dawned on me that I had not mentioned that my entire reading history for this goal has been in the KJV. I love the KJV and I cannot imagine a time when it will not be my favorite. That being said, after learning Spanish, the Reina Valera 1960 version of the Bible is way up there on my list of translations and has no need to apologize in any way to the KJV. Really, reading the Bible in Spanish has changed the way I think about translations of the Bible.
Just one more Grandma Sarah story (I cannot help myself). Aunt Julia sent me a chunk of an old instant message she sent me sometime last year. It reminded us that one of Grandma Sarah’s greatest qualities was her boundless kindness and efforts to help “the least of these.”
From Aunt Julia:
I just found this except on a messenger string between Ken and I on 8/4/2015. Mom was feeding a guy named Mike who used to sit at her table. He could still kind of feed himself but Mom would help him because he struggled so much. This is after she had recovered from her surgery but before she got C-dif.
“Mom helps them spoon feed people when they can’t get to everyone. I wish I would have had my camera today, it was very sweet but painfully slow since she can’t see. She would pick up a bite and push it in his direction and he would lean in a bit and she would stretch out a bit and he would lean a little more and so on until the fork reached his mouth… then I would heave a sigh of relief and the whole process would start again It took about 30 minutes for them to get through half of his plate with neither of them getting impatient or losing interest. I just about lost my mind!!!”
My brother, Uncle Doug, my sisters, Aunts Julia and Jean and I all feel good about the arrangements for Grandma Sarah’s funeral. In particular, we feel good about making sure Grandpa Milo gets what he needs. In addition to our plans to make sure someone is checking in on Grandpa Milo now in the short term, but also through the holidays and later on when things settle down after the funeral in January. The sheer number of family and close friends who have reached out to us is testament not only to those friends, but to the lifetime of good will Grandpa Milo and Grandma Sarah built up over many years.
There was a period of emotionally charged frenetic activity following Grandma Sarah’s death the transitioned into, for me anyway, a couple of days of phone calls with friends and family to thank people for their kindness–family, family with no blood re
lation (you know who you are), especially people who met in Grandpa Milo’s and Grandma Sarah’s living room for church meetings every Sunday morning or Wednesday meeting for decades and special friends of every stripe.
There are many things for which I am thankful going through these events. One of those is that I have truly loving siblings. They have been absolute champions in every way. They have honorably, selflessly and humbly done everything within their power to not only preserve the dignity of everyone involved, but they have done it at great cost to themselves. I love them and am very thankful for them.
Now, I am just about all cried out–at least for awhile. It is sad that Grandma Sarah is gone, but she had a great live. She loved much and was much loved. Next weekend, the family will help Grandpa Milo get some closure and in January we will look forward to saying a more formal goodbye. We will all miss her, but I can honestly say that the greatest gift she gave all of us is that “it is well with her soul.”
The photo to the left is of Grandma Sarah picking beans with her twin sister Janet’s second son Neil. It is pretty descriptive of a lot of my upbringing. Neil and I were both second sons of about the same age and spent a lot of time together at Grandma Jenkins’s (Grandma Sarah’s mom) and Aunt Janet’s house together for overnight stays and the like. More importantly though, it is a reminder that my generation and the generation before that grew up as a family that harvested crops by hand as manual laborers on farms. In my case, it was mostly beans and strawberries, but a lot of other crops in the previous generation (cherries, hops, etc.). Grandpa Milo’s family worked as migrant farm workers every summer during the harvest seasons of his youth. Grandma Sarah picked strawberries and beans in the summers of her college years (and before) to help pay her way through pharmacy school.
I probably should not tell this story in public, but it is so iconic in terms of how I think about my mother, I just cannot help myself. Both Grandma Sarah and I graduated from Oregon State University. In 1973, I moved into a student co-op directly across the street from where Grandma Sarah lived when she started at Oregon State in 1948. I wrote about that place and its connection with Ted Bundy the serial killer in a previous post on this blog. Grandpa Milo and Grandma Sarah lived in Newberg when I started school and I often caught a ride with friends to go back home for weekends. Grandma Sarah would then drive me the 60 miles back to Corvallis on Sunday afternoon after church. We would always stop in Monmouth on the way to eat lunch. I have been at that J’s Family Restaurant a lot of times not only for this, but because it is the same restaurant where our dear friend, Susan Rodriguez worked while she was getting her degree at what is now Western Oregon University as well as a good place to eat on the way to watch a Beavers game.
I need to give this story a little context now to diminish the trouble this will cause me. Grandma Sarah had a wonderful uncle who always went to her house for Christmas while she was growing up as a young girl. He smoked cigars and she associated the smell of those cigars with some wonderful memories she had as a child. So, when the mood struck us, we would buy a couple of REALLY cheap cigars (Swisher Sweets) and smoke them together while we finished our drive to Corvallis. She would get that twinkle in her eye that everyone who really knew her has seen when she was about to say something or do something just for the sheer joy of it even though it might be a little bit off in the eyes of those who were a little to uptight or ungracious. I LOVED those trips. They were our thing. I was talking to Aunt Julia last night and she reminded me that she had actually been there one time with us and we bought THREE cigars. I am glad she was there and can confirm my story because I think there are a lot of people who might not believe it if I did not come from someone with a little more credibility than myself.
I thought it would be good to explain the funeral arrangements we are making to say goodbye to Grandma Sarah because they are a little bit out of the ordinary. Doug, Julia and Jean who are very close to the situation and after a lot thought have decided the best way to handle this to accommodate Grandpa Milo’s capabilities would be to do this in two steps. I completely concur with what was decided as it was a kind solution and what the family feels is a fitting way to say goodbye respectfully given the circumstances. Since it was Grandma Sarah wish to be cremated we have more time than we would otherwise. In that light, this is our plan:
Step One. Many know that Grandpa Milo has Alzheimer’s disease and is not as able as in the past. It was felt that in the short term, based on Grandpa Milo’s capabilities and all of our need for some closure it would be good to do something in a much smaller, more controlled venue. To that end, we will have a small family-only dinner in the next week or so to remember Grandma Sarah and disperse the ashes in the rose garden by the pond Grandpa Milo built like they had planned.
Step Two. All of us wanted to have a traditional funeral so all the family and friends Grandma Sarah loved so much and who loved her back can say goodbye, too. Because we have time and due to a number of considerations including the upcoming holidays when it is hard to plan travel, the family thought it would be easier if we did the funeral after the first of the year. It seemed odd to us to wait so long, but someone remembered that was the way it was handled with our dear friend Beth Bellam and it not only went well, but allowed more people to make plans to be there. The next consideration was that Special Meeting rounds start right after the first of the year and end on January 15. Mom’s birthday is on January 18th and we thought that might be a good time to have the funeral and celebrate her life. We talked to our ministers and they thought that would be just fine if that is what the family wanted. We are not sure it will happen exactly on January 18th, but if not, it will be within a few days of that date. We will keep everyone posted.
Mom (Grandma Sarah) died last night. She was with Aunts Julia and Jean, Uncle Doug and two of her grandchildren, Amy and Charlie. I flew out from Texas to Seattle last weekend and was able to drive down to Portland on Saturday with Kelly to say goodbye in person. She recognized us and was able to say one or two words and squeeze our hand to answer questions while we were there. Kelly and I took turns reading the Bible to her, Psalm 23, Matthew 5-7 and the three epistles of John. Then we sang some hymns with the help of Grandpa Milo. Grandma Sarah, Kelly and I held hands and we each prayed for her. After that, she lost focus so we kissed her and said goodbye. We knew it would be the last time and were very thankful we had the chance to tell her we loved her and say goodbye.
Mom was a faithful woman who always looked out for “the least of these.” She had a great love for Jesus and He was what her life was about. It was sad to see her go, but she is in a better place.
The selection of Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton yesterday is the strangest ever election season in my experience. It is not so much that way because of who is running or what is at stake for the county although that does to be quite monumental. It is more because, even though the stakes are monumental, it really is because my mindset on this election and maybe even elections in general has changed fairly dramatically. It would be wrong to say I do not care what happens or that I should not participate. I think I should participate. It has more to do with the fact that my mother is on her death bed and I have been focused on bigger and much, much more important issues than just the election of a president.
At the same time, I have gotten a kick out of watching my family watch the election. None of us think Trump will be much good, but we do think he will be better than what would have been perpetrated on us by a Hillary administration. The thing that has been interesting is how much of a kick Lorena got out of the election, the horror of the illegal Mexican community of our acquaintance here in the US and the very interesting reaction of our close family in Mexico who are certainly not Trump fans, but believe the Mexicans who reside here illegally are getting what they deserve.
All said, this is the first election since I had the right to vote that I went to bed early and did not get the result until the next morning with only mild interest. Sadly, I think we are living in the interesting times alluded to in that famous Chinese proverb.
I wanted to post Kelly’s Master of Science in Business Administration diploma as it is the current high mark in her educational efforts. She is almost certainly not done yet (talked to one of her professors last night about next steps), but she is at work now in a good job in downtown Seattle learning new stuff, loving her job and her new co-workers and on the way to figuring out what she really wants to do as a vocation. We are very happy and excited for Kelly.
Kelly picked me up at the airport in Seattle this afternoon after her work. I am going to meet with a company tomorrow morning that, amazingly, is located on the 19th floor in the same building where Kelly works on the 3rd floor. Tomorrow evening we will head down to Portland to visit Grandpa Milo and Grandma Sarah. The motel I found close to where Kelly lives turns out to be an apartment building built in 1961 that the Seattle city government would not let be used as apartments, so they turned it into a motel and never looked back. It is a great little price with one of the lowest prices around.
But Lorena did not let me keep it even though it was pretty much out in the middle of the street and we could not find the owner. She said, “I know what needs to be done with that!” I am sure she does.
Last night, for the first time in Chapman family history, we entertained no trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Maybe yesterday’s diatribe drove them away, but I think it is more likely the apartment where we live does not allow it. So with impending big changes in the works, I sat around and read a book that was recommended by Marvin Olasky in 2015 called The Book of Strange New Things. It is definitely an odd book written in English by a non-English speaker and you can tell that from the use of the language in the book as well as the markedly Western European worldview it manifests. I am still trying to decide whether or not I like it. There are some very, very good things about the book, particularly its treatment of things Christian, but it is a little bit of a slow read in places and does not ring true (or maybe real is a better word) in others. Still I am glad to have the time to read it because I think those opportunities are going to decrease dramatically due to said “impending big changes in the works.”
I have not been much of a fan of Halloween since I got to big to solicit candy door to door in our neighborhood when it was relatively safe to do that back in the early 1960’s. It was never a great holiday, but now it just makes me tired and kind of sad for our culture. I have to admit I still enjoy the clever, well-executed costumes some of the kids create and I love giving out candy to the smaller neighborhood kids, but it is soul deadening to watch junior high schoolers to adults exercise their fantasies–some of them, even at the low end of that age group, leaning to well beyond PG-13 ratings. Even at the surface level where the celebration seems to be about death, narcissism and extortion, it has never been, in my mind anyway, a good thing. Oh well. I will endeavor to not be a Halloween Scrooge (excuse the mixed metaphor), hand out candy and keep a smile on my face this evening.
I fly to Seattle on Thursday night for a business meeting on Friday. Friday night, Kelly and I plan to drive to Portland to see Grandma Sarah. She is eating very, very little and is getting closer to the end. This is part of the reason I have not written so much. There are lots of things happening and not so much happening. I get up every morning to go to work through the week, then Lorena and I go to the Snooty Pig on Saturday mornings for breakfast and to our church meeting on Sunday morning. In the meantime, Grandpa Milo and especially Grandma Sarah approach the end. This might be the last time I see her if I make it on time, but she might linger for longer than we expect. It is a time for introspection.
In the whole scheme of things, maybe what is going on in our lives is not so eventful. Still, it is important in the trajectory of our lives. There will be changes soon. We are not sure whether they will be a result of momentous geopolitical events or as a result of our desire to make some changes to get closer to our loved ones and/or “do the right thing.” I hope to be able to write more in the coming days about all that is in process.
Note: The picture is in celebration of National Cat Day.
Kiwi continues to help me with my work on the Gaugecam project. We all recevied an email yesterday describing some of the new information that will appear in the next refereed journal article. Some of it will have an impact on my work–we will know what to do to make the system even more accurate under changing conditions. It is slow work since I have so much other stuff going, but my hope is that I can turn this into my retirement project. I hope to have a demo of some of the stuff we are doing to put up here within the next few months.
The shibboleth of Christian fundamentalism is way past its expiration date. It is the go-to straw man for the unthinking pop-culture, pseudo-intellectual intelligentsia that make up the mainstream media, the vast bulk of academia (primary, secondary and post-secondary), the political class, and large swaths of the rest of America. It is almost impossible to talk about objective morality, abortion, traditional marriage, origins, euthanasia or any other topic of moral import without a self-righteous demand to account for the actions and thought of extremists who make up less than one percent of those who call themselves Christian.
I am through with making caveats. I am no more responsible for the abject immoral behavior of people who call themselves Christians but act otherwise than I am for the evils perpetuated on innocents by the likes of Planned Parenthood, New Atheists, Code Pink, PETA and the Democrat Party. Don’t ask me to account for any of that. I have my own sins to account for but these are not them. And do not expect me to just go along either. I hate ALL of this stuff because it is evil. Tolerance of evil is not a virtue.
This rant was partially motivated by my recent reads through Jeremiah and Ezekiel. It does not seem like their situation was a whole lot different from that of thinking Christians today. At any rate, thanks for reading my rant; it was actually quite cathartic.