You know those awkward silences when you’ve said something a bit out of place and no one responds? Or even worse, when you’ve said something that, as far as you know, is prefectly acceptable, but the silence is still there? I don’t know if it’s more prolific with teenagers, but I run into those kinds of situations a lot. Some people have absolutely no problem with them, but for me they’re almost like dying a thousand deaths. Not really that bad, but close. It feels as if I’ve just broken a really big unspoken rule, or like I’ve said something blindingly obvious or inappropriate. The silence makes me want to dig a deep hole and stay there. The longer the silence the deeper the hole.
Being the awkwardee is almost as bad as being the awkwarder. Maybe the awkwarder really did say something innapropriate. It’s hard to know what to do, other than shrug it off or stay quiet in those situations. But when it’s just a case of an oddball thought, a misplaced comment or a naive statement, what does it hurt to put one’s reputation at risk for a second to make the other person feel comfortable? Sometimes I stay silent just because everyone else is or because I’m afraid of what others will think if I speak up. This is wrong. Staying silent is almost always the cruellest thing to do in awkward situations.
Now I don’t often have the problem of being the awkwardee, because since I talk a lot, I’m generally on the awkwarder side. I tend to fill the silences with more talk to try and fix things, but it always makes things more awkward because the more I talk, the more prone I am to saying weird things. Having a lot to say is not really an all-the-time great policy.
Fortunately, there are a few gracious people out there who can make the awkwardness magically disappear with something as simple as a laugh or a few encouraging words. These awkward wizards are generally wonderful people as well as being wonderfully socially capable. From my short experience, they’ve tended to be effortlessly kinder, not quite as sarcastic and more interesting than most. They’re very convenient for we Chapmans to have around, doing double time as friends and foils. I’d love to get to that point someday.
Anyway, I passed my CLEP Western Civ II test! It’s a load off my shoulders, believe me. I feel like a free girl. Now on to Precalc. and Chemistry CLEPs. Oh, and I didn’t get pinched at all yesterday! So it was a pretty awesome day, all in all.