A Study in Signatures

You know what I’ve noticed? Messy buns are particularly hard to master. If I concentrate too hard while making them, I run the risk of ending up with one of three looks: ‘Neat and tidy bun that was supposed to be messy’ or ‘messy bun with too much thought put into it’ or just ‘mess’ This is why I prefer making neat and tidy buns. I like how they look and they’re much more simple to make than messy buns. Unfortunately, by wearing a neat and tidy bun every Sunday I run the risk of developing a premature signature bun. I am too young for this! Signature buns are for settled matrons and gossipy old maids. I am most certainly not at this advanced (though coveted and highly respected) stage of life.

Besides, my Sunday bun is more of a chignon than anything, and chignons do not signature buns make. No, signature buns have some sort of flair. For some women this means piling their hair on top of their heads a-la-Marge-Simpson, or poofing up the front part a-la-pompadour, or pulling it tightly back and wrapping it around their heads like a hot dog a-la-someone-I-know. Ah, the varieties!! Though I’m ashamed to admit it, I used to draw the backs of women’s heads during Gospel meeting, meticulously shading every tuck in the French rolls, every misplaced hair in the doughnuts, every twist in the sky-highs! Yes, a signature bun is the culmination of a life well lived. It tells people who you are, what you were, it screams your personality to the world. When people see your hair, they not only see your hair, they see YOU in your hair! This is why I am unprepared for one. As much as I and nearly every other girl I know long for a signature, it is unattainable as of yet.

But let’s pray it stays that way for another 40 years, OK?